There are going to be many times in life when people will do things that we just cannot comprehend under any circumstances. How someone could possibly do such things to another is hard to believe. The hardest part is having to forgive someone who will not apologise.
However, if we want to get on with our life we have to forgive them even if it is without contact. Once we know in our heart we have forgiven them that is all that matters.
1. Get yourself a notepad and pen, sit-down and begin to envision whoever or whatever it was that needs forgiveness. Allow yourself the time and space to really come to terms with the fact you are being the bigger person here.
2. Empatize, as hard as it may seem if you can actually put yourself in their shoes & try to understand why they did what they did it may make it much easier for you too see the bigger picture. I’m not saying to let them off the hook with this at all but, it will give you a better understanding for yourself.
3. People assume by not letting go of the situation & never forgiving, it will somehow teach the other person a lesson. It won’t under any circumstances. It will however eat you up inside. Every time you think of it your whole being will fill with poison. It will not be easy but you have to learn & practice how to let it go or it will keep hurting you. The more you hold on the angrier you will become.
4. Realise your responsibility. Where did you contribute in all of this? What i mean by this is, did you stay around the wrong people ? Know deep down something was wrong ? Etc. Whatever it was you were part of it. You need to find out why and how you can prevent it happening in the future. Don’t allow yourself to become a victim by giving your responsibility away. (When I use the word victim I’m not referring to an actual vicim of a serious crime. I mean a victim mentality
5. Stay in the present moment going over & over it will not help. Going into the future in your head with revenge won’t help either. Focus on the here and now only figure out how you can let it go.
6. Finally use compassion. None of the above will be easy, forgiveness is a very hard thing to do. Especially the first time, forgiving someone who hurt us is not weak it is serious character building. It takes tremendous strength, practice, practice, practice. You won’t die from forgiveness, but there is a greater risk of serious health issues within a mind, body and spirit filled with resentment. Than a person who is as free as a bird.
I really do hope you find it in yourself to forgive & move on for yourself. I’m not suggesting you forget anything that happened in your life but by being able to move on with a clearer mind for yourself it a great way to show you, just how strong & capable you are.