Childhood trauma can have devastating effects if we you don’t understand ourselves & the road ahead

The unconscious is very powerful & can be a very dangerous place if it is not understood. Lets face it, it’s really is not something the majority understand. Unless we have been drawn to it through trauma ourselves or some sort of crisis & want to understand.

I am a firm believer in Sigmund Frued & I strongly agree with his theory of the unconscious mind. Not the psychosexual, not the dreams I’m just talking the mind here mostly unconscious.

Ok so studying psychology I’ve heard so many people say they don’t agree with his theories, when his name is mentioned first thing people usually say, is, oh the Oedipus complex or the he was always talking about sex. But that is not true, this is what people tend to zoom in on, which, kind of proves his theories that do say people always relate to sex 🙂 Just saying 

But the part I really agree with is, his explanation of the mind, he compared it to an iceberg. Suggesting only a small amount is visible while the rest is subconscious & unconscious.

OK so take driving for an example, you get into the car for your first time, you’re terrified because you have never done it before. That is your conscious, you are fully aware, but don’t know how to do any of it that’s why it is so scary. After a while, it becomes subconscious, you have to recall the steps to remember but you can remember. Then, there is mastery, unconsciously you can do it without checking the manual, all the info has been stored through practice. It has become part of you.

 I will give one serious example of what I mean from a case study I covered ↓

A person from a very dysfunctional home who had no say,  had to grow up to fast, one parent was the boss the other was the enabler stood back & did nothing. The boss parent was very nasty psychologically to the child and he was an only child. This made it so much worse for him (This was a case study I did yesterday)

Ok so she called him every name you could think of, didn’t feed him correctly, had no clean clothes, spent all of his time with her, didn’t go to school & had no other role models not ever the father.

  1. He used every defense mechanism & coping style, he could find to get through it. As he became older, because of all the blocking everything went straight to the unconscious. This in turn, created depression, anger, feelings of loneliness, uncertainty, all negative stuff for him.
  2. He believed the past had a hold over him & couldn’t move forward because of it, everything that happened he held onto. This was due to seeing nothing other than the negative, which he was taught from childhood, and because of this he couldn’t see the positives.
  3. He become victim in his own life. As a child, he had no say, now he was terrified of responsibility. Blame became his safety blanket he used it all the time. It was everyone else fault, she taught him this through her abuse.

He spent his whole life looking after her, as she got older & became sick he became very distraught because she made all the decisions, he depended on her for everything that is exactly what she wanted.

When she passed away he was lost, she was his whole world he done nothing without her. He became very angry, the smallest thing triggered him now, he was free to let the trauma she caused loose.

  • He had no control over his mind it ran a muc. Looking for answers he went & spoke with loads of people for some insight, which he got. He realised all the things she done to him, it became conscious, the more people he met the more dysfunctional he realised it was.
  • He really tried but there was just too much to digest. Unfortunately, he couldn’t take it anymore & tried to commit suicide. It was a failed attempt, which led to, a fall on the front of the head causing a brain injury to the frontal lobe. Leaving him in a nursing home for the rest of his life. In addition to the injury, he now also suffers from psychosis, he replays the past over & over again talking to his mother in his. It’s an awful story & I hope someday he can find the strength come back from it somehow.

This is a true story & the moral is look after yourself. If there is anything you need to fix to move forward do it, don’t wait until it’s too late. Unfortunately with childhood adversity it’s very complex. But, if you find you are not fully functioning, well then you know best. Ask for help to get through it.

I went to a talk the other night & the lecturer claimed 70 % of psychiatry patients were due to childhood adversity. Startling figure & facts. I strongly believe, childhood trauma goes straight to the unconscious & if not fixed can have devastating effects. It better to address it, than let it, address you.

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

Frederick Doughlas

This video is so worth the watch because its all connected at the end of the day. Psychological problems are like a bad smell, they linger, until dealt with.

Video source : Ted 


5 thoughts on “Childhood trauma can have devastating effects if we you don’t understand ourselves & the road ahead

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  1. Really glad you wrote this. Just got through talking to a friend who is bipolar and has a history of abuse, yet she is the first one to judge others, because she believes since she has ‘over come it’ anyone else can, and she condemns and judges those who cannot. I differ in that opinion, I think everyone is different and it’s not right to judge someone who say, is sexually abused as a child, for some of the brokenness they experience as an adult. It is simply not always that easy to ‘get over it’ and we as a society are too condemning and prone to judging which tends to condemn people further toward the abyss.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi TheFeatheredSleep, Ok I have to state that I’m not a professional, but, I will give some advice from experience 🙂 First of all congrats to your friend for getting through her issues. Unfortunalty when people come out the other side like anything it can go a few ways. By the sounds of it, she seems to have forgotten what it was like & just got a bit to ahead of herself I was guilty of this at one stage I thought if I can do it why can’t they. Then I realised, they can, in their own time, when their ready not when I was !!!

      Honestly, in my opinion, I don’t think we ever get over it. Instead we work through it. Using our resilience to bounce back. Getting over it would be the same as repressing it & I personally don’t agree with that as I think it can cause serious mental disorders.

      I believe we all have an inner strength but depending on the experience and the environment some people don’t always get through it, like my case study.

      The first step is acceptance, when we actually accept what happened, this is where the strength comes from. By telling ourselves the truth, we can only then, move forward. What happened to the man from my case study was he could’t accept it, so in turn, it eventually destroyed him.

      “The truth will set you free, but you have to endure the labor pains of birthing it.”
      Iyanla Vanzant

      This is a website with lots of information for your friend. Adult survivor of sexual abuse


      1. Thanks for that. I don’t think I really need advice but I think others do and it’s so important that we share what we know or our experiences like you have, because it really makes a difference when someone is in crisis. So glad you care – makes such a difference to people’s lives, thank you so much

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I totally agree people are too quick to judge. If there was more understanding in the world being passed down, instead of judgment, problems would be hard to find. People need to stick together 🙂 You’re very welcome & thank you for giving some feedback on the post also xx

        Liked by 1 person

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