I think it is fair to say every now & again we all get a shitty day I think we would have to be robots not to.
The problem with having a shitty day is when we go into that stinky state of mind we lose all focus everywhere in life very quickly. We could be having a really good day & all of a sudden someone says something totally nasty to us we know it is not true but we will still let it bother us. Probably all day, but doing so does literally nothing other than, put you in a bad mood.
So how do we stop this from happening?
Well, first and foremost we have to build ourselves up so high that no one can come into our space and ruin it under any circumstances. I know much easier said than done it still happens to me and I’m sick of reading personal development at this stage 🙂
When we don’t believe 1000% in ourselves it will always be possible for another person or thing to annoy us way more than it should.
What the most important thing to always remember is, when something bothers you out of nowhere without warning, ask yourself, why? Ask as many why’s as you have to get an answer.
Because, if it is a case it was a comment, it wasn’t the actual comment, it was what it was relating to within you, that got bothered. You need to look back at a situation where something similar may have happened & ask yourself why is it having such an effect on me? What is it reminding you of? There is something !
Say for example, a person who was overweight growing up & they got bullied for that reason. As an adult they have lost all of that weight which is brilliant but losing the weight alone wouldn’t be enough because of the bullying. There would be some emotions and feeling that need to be desensitised. Every single time they are in a conversation & the topic is weight they get all hot, bothered & defensive because they are taking it personally. But the thing is, the conversation has nothing to do with them but they’re taking it personally & don’t even know it.
This is something many of us suffer with and don’t even realise it. Think of the last time something really annoyed you. Now, why did it annoy you? Was it because it was relevant in that moment or did you react before you even released what you were doing? If it was the second one you are attached to something in relation to whatever it was from the past. Unless, you desensitise yourself it will keep happening.
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.” –
See what happened when we are defensive all of the time we become a target for button pushers and one of the biggest mistakes you can make in life is allowing someone to push your buttons. Because by doing, so you are letting them know how to do it again, unknowns to yourself, providing personal entertainment for them.
You have to find out what makes you snap and stop it & this is something that only you can do.
In order to desensitise yourself what you have to do is realise
- It doesn’t matter anymore, unless it is having a major impact on your life right now.
- Things can only hurt you if you let them. When you desensitise the nerve that keeps being hit you become the winner.
- You have buttons we all do, they are emotional responses to past injuries. Work through the pain to let it go.
- It’s ok to be annoyed not angry. Anger causes you & everyone around you a lot of pain.
- You have to take your finger off the button too.
It’s not the easiest of things to do because first of all you have to look at you and why you keep reacting in such a way. It may also be the case that what you are reacting to really is something you are very passionate about and don’t like the conversation. Still, reacting is not the best thing to do. Learn how to master calm, calm & collected works best in every situation.
♥♥ Good Luck ♥♥
Written By Siobhan