What is self – acceptance ? It is exactly what it sounds like, the acceptance of yourself. Seems so simple doesn’t it, yet, so many of us either don’t know what it is or understand it in the slightest.
The minute people hear anything like this, the first thing they usually say is “oh no not the cringey s**t” not because it is actually cringey but, because, you have been taught to believe it is. But, it is ok to be exposed daily to all the negative rubbish in the world without question & its just accepted. Anyway, ill keep that rant for another day 🙂
I think it is ok for me to say that the majority of us didn’t grow up learning about self – acceptance never mind self – love, I may be wrong, but, I really don’t think I am on this one. See to teach it, you have to have learned it. And, in order to learn about it like anything else, you first have to be exposed to it & then want to learn about it.
This really wasn’t the case for the last couple of generations there was too much horror going on in the world. They were trying to survive & they really didn’t have the time to practice anything other than do as your told, speak when spoken too, etc. They just did what they though was normal I suppose.
It is a very touchy subject or for most people to grasp. Especially, when they are a beginner, hearing things like accept & love yourself is just weird because it’s all new. It’s not something we think about on the daily it’s classed as strange to love yourself. A lot of people would probably think do I not love myself that already ? Chances are no you don’t.
It’s really not rocket science though, it’s very basic stuff but is very foreign to the learner as it is not classed as something normal because it is simply not taught. Instead, it is something that is strongly sought after when there has been a lot of pain & the person suffering wants answers & to be happy.
I am a very strong believer in holding people responsible that may have harmed you & in the process helped mould your beliefs, I really don’t care who it was, they are responsible in my eyes. Regardless of why they done it, they are totally responsible for what they did. Let me be clear thought, I’m not telling you to use that responsibility as a way of holding yourself back for the rest of your life because that would be very silly & pointless. Im saying, accept what happened and process by trying to understand why they did it, so you can move forward.
I believe a lot of people did what they were shown how to do, not what they thought was right. They accepted what they were taught as reality, instead of questioning it & finding what they really believed in, as an individual. A person who accepts themselves as they are wouldn’t go around hurting another living thing. But a person who is hurting really badly and doesn’t understand themselves most defiantly could.
Look at your person/s, I can nearly guarantee, they are still the same because its easier to deny than accept that kind of reality. So your job is to look at the bigger picture & try figure it our for yourself
So what I am talking about is, accepting all of your story, the good the bad and the ugly. Im not saying it is what it is, accept it. Noooooo, I’m saying you have to accept what was so you can change it, to become, what you don’t want it to be. You have to admit all the crappy stuff to yourself so you can process it and move forward, not stay the same. These are some of the things people are taught growing up
- Don’t be so full of yourself
- Don’t embarrass the family
- Behave yourself
- Don’t draw attention
- You shouldn’t do it that way, do it this way.
- You are so stupid
Feel free to come up with as many as you want & I’m pretty sure you have got some, don’t lie to yourself.
How could you naturally accept yourself when you have been taught all of the ways not to? Exactly, you couldn’t. You have to at some point or another realise that all the pieces don’t fit the puzzle, break it & start from scratch.
You have to take on the dreaded journey of self. The one that will strip you bare to the realest & rawest you have ever seen yourself. It will bust open every single raw & scratchy nerve you have. You might bite someones head off for something stupid but thats ok once you are working on it that is the worst you will do. Left unscratched there is a lot more you could end up doing.
It’s a journey that not very many take on because its scary as hell. If your like most, you have been avoiding yourself most of your life, am I right ? 🙂 You do all of these things to keep yourself busy, while procrastinating on the most important project you will ever do, YOURSELF.
Regardless, what your life has been like up until now, you have to learn how to accept yourself right now or you ain’t going nowhere. It’s a very lengthy process, like, lifetime. But, its more important than anything you will ever do in your waking hours.
↓↓↓ Always remember ↓↓↓
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.
Thich Nhat Hanh
Here is a quick story. Today I was out walking my dog & came across this kid he was about 19. He said hello to the my dog & started walking with me. I didn’t mind he looked like he needed a chat. We got talking & he started to tell me about his life (people do this to me all the time for some reason) He had a really bad upbringing, dysfunctional parents, he was in care, etc.
So, I asked, what his plan for life was. He told me he didn’t have one, life was crap if anything was going to happen it would be by luck, he was not good at anything, no one would hire him, he was too stupid for schooling. Lets just say, the negativity and excuses went on and on.
No matter what I said to encourage him there was no getting through. He really had a problem for every solution. And, I believe this is a huge problem for many of us, until we learn we can do anything we want to.
Moral – That kid is going nowhere in his life until he takes on that journey, strips himself back to nothing & starts again. Leaning how to believe in himself is the most important step he needs to achieve without this belief he can’t move forward. At the moment, he tells himself every single day, why he can’t, why it won’t happen, it will never work, it’s so & so fault, whats the point, etc. All he is doing is giving away all of his power to everyone who should have no place in his life anymore & he doesn’t even realise it because, he doesn’t believe in himself. Instead, he believes every shitty thing people told him over the years & has muted what he really thinks about himself, he doesn’t think for himself anymore. Instead, he is letting lessons break him instead of make him.
If you have a couple of minutes please watch this video 🙂
Video Source : YouTube
Written By Siobhan